It's been a while...

Since I wrote a blog about anything, I guess I just try to pass things up and forget about them. This time I can't do that just as easily.

I know I've never been the coolest, most amazing, most popular girl in the world; even if I tried to, I'd never be such thing. And yet, or perhaps because of that, I guess I think of my friends as the most precious, important things to me in the world. I know I don't often show it, because I'm always afraid of bothering people and annoying them, but it's never been with a bad intention. Far from it.

This is my letter to them, because I know I don't have the courage to say things to them face to face.

I've known you all since High School, always have tried to fit with you and feel like I truly belong to the circle of friends I've always believed we are. For that same reason, it hurts deeply to suddenly find those reminders, maybe you don't even notice, that I'm not. I'm an outsider element, I get together maybe once in a while but I'm not considered to it most of those moments.

I love you all because you're what I've always wanted to be, because you're the first real friends I thought I had. For that, I thought you cared about me just in the same way. I know I may sound melodramatic, it is not my intention to be.

Maybe you don't mean to harm, there's my hopeful thinking, but the pain in my chest doesn't dissapear just because of that. I see the pictures of how much of a good time you have together and I wonder, if everyone in the group is there, why no one told me, no one invited me?

It hurts to be forgotten by those you care about.

I guess that what hurts is that not only am I being put aside, but left behind too. If I commited such a crime that earned me being left like this I'd like to know what it is, because I don't understand.

I don't understand and it still hurts.

I don't want to see those pictures, those reminders of the situation. Where do I go from here? Should I tell you? Aren't you the ones that should say something to me?

Let's play his game of pretend once more, like nothing happened so the past, precious moments can remain like that. The past.

I don't think I want to talk to any of you in a while...



Thanks a lot, guys